Color ... Discovery... Wonderment... Pleasure
“There is a sacredness in tears....They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love.” Washington Irving
A sense of relief has begun to trickle through me. I cried this morning. Tears from nowhere. We were up at 5:45, I put the oatmeal on to soak (Steel Cut) and did my morning stretches and walked two miles. I was in the bedroom and Terry came in to hug me, and I began to tear up in my eyes.
He quietly stroked my back sensing I was crying and just held me. He led me over to the couch in our bedroom and we both sat down and I began to sob. Odd? Yes for me. Rare in fact. I told him something was out of place in the 'force'... he laughed at me. We talked for about thirty min and I felt a bit better, still not sure why I was crying.
It began to fall into place as I dressed for the day.
We are in our mid sixties. We are watching some old dear friends from the lake, walk away from their 14 years living there in Mt Vernon to move to south Texas on the coast where some of their older friends settled a few years back. Leaving family, friends, church and all they know to take this adventure. They are maybe 5-7 years older than we are. At the same junction this weekend, my Mom called and told me one of my oldest girlfriends from our church growing up had died. She was not feeling well the past year but wanted to work till she retired and that is when they found cancer throughout her body. She made her heavenly journey on Saturday. Then trusty rusty FB always keeps track for those friends from high school, college and earlier life.... and a Lake Highlands friend had a series of mishaps, car wreck, strokes etc and at the hospital in rehab for the strokes, they discovered she has a rare form of Leukemia that has no promise of life after or during, so she is in hospice, her entire life changing and ending over just weeks.
Happy Happy Tuesday.
But it really is a blessed Tuesday. I think all of this piled in my head and Terry and I had been talking about this last era of our lives and so appreciative and thankful to God throughout the day and night before we turn in. We do not know what lies ahead and we can only live this very day God has gifted to us. If you have ever spent time in Ecclesiastes, then you get it. I do not believe life to be meaningless, but most of the time how we live is empty instead of full. We should continue to serve and be a blessing to others and if we are not we definitely cross into that meaningless life.
THEN...I found that small light of possible answer to my 18 month crossroads. I hope to step into it today or tomorrow and see if it is the answer.
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.