I was better after I cried . . .
“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before--more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.” ― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations
You can see by the photo today I am wound tight on painting... slightly more to the realistic than I do anymore. I know by where I am today that I have to go a different direction soon. The problem is when I did, I went SO FAR the other direction, I did not take pictures. The process overtook me and in a way left me working not even aware of the need to record the process.
In life when you are caught up in something that has wrapped your attention totally up in the working and learning, you often lose track of time and people. I did not cry and feel better, but maybe I did on the way. I had to get this process out of my system and not be afraid to do it. This is the point where I load my large paintbrush with a mix of damar varnish, turpentine and liquin and mix it with some color and wash the entire canvas... yes, even over the figure I just painted. I became aware of everything around me and immediately felt the peace as I painted out two days of work. Let the rain fall. Let the painting grow.
"Let my teaching fall like rain and my words descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant rain on tender plants." Deuteronomy 32:2