The Winter of Discontent when I lost my hat.
“It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.” ― John Steinbeck, The Winter of Our Discontent
It has really really been cold here. Last Saturday we went from 74 degrees at noon to 19 that night... the temp from 12 to 2 went from the 74 to 41 and kept falling from there. This has been the first cold snap and I pulled out my FAVORITE winter hat Terry bought me last year and I wore it and wore and wore it and had warm head and ears. It looked pretty good as well. He found it at Whole Foods last year. They do not carry them this year...
I lost my winter hat yesterday morning.
We were in the car and I was trying to straighten out something on the phone and we arrived to where I was jumping out of the car and my hat must have fallen from my lap or caught on my velcro on the coat...but it is no more. We actually had driven home before I missed it. Terry took us right back out to look for it in the streets but it was not there. I know my hat is in a good place. Someone picked it up and needed it. God sees to that. That favorite hat is warming someone else's head and ears.
My main issue is the beating myself up because I am so careful all the time and even paranoid about making sure I am careful. I failed. So all day yesterday I felt upset with myself... not upset with the hat being gone...but myself for failing.
I have had repeated conversations with myself and then began to try and pray about it. Why are we so hard on ourselves? God does not want us to be that way. I know that... but I was irresponsible and lost something that was a favorite...but just a 'thing'... No Harm done. Let it go. It was after all only a hat.
That is Terry's favorite motto. NO HARM DONE. Time to move on and find a new hat. He bought me a pink one at Whole Earth Provisions, but it is a slouch hat. Not sure I can get accustomed to it but maybe. If not I will look forward to the official hat hunt. I also ordered one from somewhere online called Orchid Lane and it is a multi colored rainbow hat... what a journey this will be! I shall carry the light forward in great anticipation of finding the 'hat' that fits.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4